Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
