i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
