I smell stomach acid.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
