Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize