Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
