so that wasnt chicken after all
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I will be naked everywhere
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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