I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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