You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
