I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
