Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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