I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
