She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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