like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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