You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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