Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Just puked most of my soul out..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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