dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize