That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
