Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
