I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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