I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
