I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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