Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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