I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
