haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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