i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize