We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize