East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
