No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize