I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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