yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
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