If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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