i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
