Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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