P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
