Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
