he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
