he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
