the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think people are normalizing furries
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