don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
