plz talk dirty to me
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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