i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
you are never too drunk for berry picking
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
