Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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