Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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