kristin has been a bad kristin
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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