she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
