boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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