My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
