i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
