I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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