you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
