I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
