are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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