oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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