You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
