and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
