Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I think I sprained my soul last night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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