Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
