I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
