If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
