went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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