Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
