hotel room ftw
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
