Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
