You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
