I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
So squirting runs in the family.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
