The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
